Dear you.

2:58 AM

I can't stop being heartbroken..

when you told me what happened, I just can't stop being heartbroken.. I can't believe what
your crush did to you... I'm sorry.. I`m just too speechless to say anything... but please know that
I would always be here if you need me.

He told me what happened.. and I just thought that he would know what normally
happens when your crush did this to you. well.. I would not want his personal crush
story be known here. I would keep it in me. but I just feel his pain.. I mean...... I wanted
to help him out.. but i know he is feeling sooo intense about it, I know his heart is completely
shattered.. just like Glenn's heart was, not once, but twice. but i know how to handle it with Glenn.. because
I mean, I know him for quite some time.. and it was easy to speak with him and let him know I
would gratefully hear him out... so time by time, his heart would heal... but this person is diffrerent
for me to help him through.. but he is a nice guy and someone I know, and maybe someone I will be
able to talk freely with.

I just feel soo bad.. when he went online, straight away he chatted with me, he told me
his problems and I was soooo shocked and speechless, I had nothing to say... I mean,
I wish there was something, but I was just stunned and my heart started breaking.. It
doesn't mean I have something for him, it's just that I don't like seeing any of my friends,
whether I know a lot or average or less about them. He is in the category of "Less,
but wanting to know more about", because I take each one, easily one by one to get
to know them.. and I just feel so bad.. for me, It's pretty weird, because if i talk to you and
hang out with you in person, and i feel comfortable, it feels like I know you forever.

but I hadn't hung out nor talk to him in person before, I've only seen him and only
said A word to him whenever I see him with my best friend in Church. we only
say "Hi", or "Hello" or normally for me i say "Hey", and we only say that to each
other.. we NEVER had a conversation face-to-face, we only had a short one or an
average one when we are IMming each other. we rarely had message texts nowadays.
but I wouldn't wanna disturb him now, because he has still exams going on, and I just
thought that, it would be very stressed out for him, because he worries and range of anger
just fill him inside, possibility that he would not be able to study well.. nor concentrate.. and
I just feel so bad i could just cry... It's like i just wanna go up to him and give him a hug.. you know.

It's just hard seeing a friend going through like his.. and it's even harder when you do not
even know what to say and you barely knew him.. you never talk in person, nor hung out
in person.. but only IM each other whenever each one or both are available..
and I would never start a chat whenever he is online... he would start a chat.. sometimes,
we would just greet "Hi" or "Yo" and "how are you" and boring stuff like that... then.. chat closed.
It's like I would want to hang out with him someday you know.. with his friends, my friends and people
like that... so I would know what to say to him whenever something corrupt like this... and I just
don't know what to say... I'm not feeling anything worthy toward him, I promise. I just want to
know him in person and what's he like. something I just have to wait for the right time till I go into
my head and mark a tick on my "Knew Him" list.. it's something I just have to do first before I jump
into all these, help and hanging out thingy...

but for now, I still feel speechless you know.. writing it in my blog makes me calm a bit.
but still, you know, this feeling will always linger if i don't do anything. but I will mark this
as my homework and find out how to get a smile back to his face, and gain his confidence back.
something just to make sure he smiles his permanent smile... someone just has to, if no one does it,
I will. I will try my hardest, at least if it works, I know doing everything did pay off.

steps-out! later!

ADE-VUA!

-Yasmin Lizzie Autumn-

good luck for your exam, I'm sorry, but hold on still,
I'll try to get your heart back in shape and your smile
back on your face.

Dear you.

2:58 AM

2:58 AM